For the past several decades, all we seem to hear about is finding a work/life balance. And with the recent shift toward quite literally working from home nowadays, this concept has only gained more traction.
Being born of a strong, independent woman, from the era of females breaking glass ceilings, climbing corporate ladders, and wearing skirt suits with sneakers, naturally, I too fell for chasing this ideal. Over time though, I started to realize (and this may not be the most popular of opinions) that somewhere along the way in our want to be equally able to do it all, many women simply ended up doing everything.
As progressive as society has become, a huge percentage of North Americans rely heavily on a dual income household, yet typically still leave one person to tend to the home and be responsible for the children, in addition to working. I was 10 years into parenting when I finally called BS on the whole “achieving balance” dream. There had to be a better way.
So, instead of balance, which implies an impossible equality for all areas of our lives, I started aiming for harmony. It’s my #oneword for 2024, and it’s quite literally changing my life. When I was first introduced to this concept through Motivational Speaker, Lisa Nicols, it immediately clicked and flipped my perspective.
I went from thinking how to give everything an equal part of me, to how much of me is truly needed for everything that I do. And you can ask anyone who knows me, I do A LOT. I’m betting you do too. I am a “do it now” person, and finding harmony has helped me face and alter my perception of self worth, which I came to realize hinged on how much I accomplished or did in any given time.
By doing this, I’ve built more breath, space, and/or “me time” into my days and weeks, even taking my first solo, week-long, staycation where I didn’t put any pressure on myself to “do” anything. That was a hard one. I allowed things to be what they were, gave myself grace from guilt, and I went where the days took me. You see harmony asks us to live intentionally and in the present moment with everything we’re doing, whether we’re facing the good or the bad. It has helped me live a little longer in each moment, to appreciate the light or the shadow I’m facing for what it is, and then let it go.
I’m seeing clearer my personal and professional priorities, and how I’m giving of my time, which allows me to better assess where things fall within those priorities and identify tasks and responsibilities that I can and should be delegating. It’s ultimately made me re-think the phrase, “what’s the best use of my time?” because it’s not just about being of “use” all the time now.
I’ve watched as I work on achieving harmony every day, how the more I reach for it, the more of it I find coming into my life. I’m more aware now, for example, of the reason why certain things like a Zumba class pack a double dose for me, and that’s because it’s a synergy of two important priorities for me, health and creativity. Missing that class just isn’t an option for me anymore, because I also recognize how I feel without it, and the break in my harmony that loss creates.
What’s truly beautiful is how it continues from me, rippling out to those around me, and touching all my interactions. And that includes when life throws me a curve ball. Finding harmony has helped me be less reactionary, an emotional issue I will admit that I’ve struggled with for years. Let’s face it, I still get mad, I’m just not snapping, or getting there as easily as I used to.
The most interesting part of this process has been witnessing people’s reactions to this more harmonious me. Some are surprised by it but enjoy it. Some seem to almost test me (yes, I mean my children…lol) to see what my new limits are, but others aren’t quite sure what to do with me now. I’ll see their discomfort with my ease of just being, instead of always being on the go or doing something.
Because we’re all different, your version of harmony or your journey for it will look entirely different from mine, but if you’re ready to go inner and make some serious changes, I cannot recommend it more. Instead of trying to level the balance all your days through, seek out harmony in your life so you may better flow through it, with it, and with everyone and everything else that’s a part of it.
Written By Melanie Robitaille
